I'm ready...

13:30

A few days ago I had this thought about dating and how I feel ready to date again.
It's been a very long time since I thought something like this. And at the same time, felt funny, is was also a sad moment for me. 
First because I don't know how to date, how to be charming or sexy.
Second, normally I create this walls around me so the guy must be really interested and be patient. I take my time to bring the guards down. 
Third, everybody says I'm a strange person and yes I don't fit in any category but I bet millions of other people feel that way...
Because of f these reasons made me feel an awful person...


I had this episode when I saw this beautiful guy at the airport when I was traveling to Brussels (post about it on the way). He was a 'oh my god' guy, just my type and so out of reach, of course.

So I spent the trip thinking about how nice could be to travel with someone who understand me, and gets my idea of sightseeing. How safe I would feel wondering around the cities and don't have to worry so much about my safety. 
But the truth is, when I think about my future I don't see anyone in it. That makes me sad. 

This kind of thought is very hard for me because I always said, 'No, I don't need anyone. I'm fine on my own'. And now that I felt this way, was kind of a punch in the stomach... so... I decided to write this post to make it official, public. 
By this, I can't hide it... so I'm ready.

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