The more I work with different photographers, more I realized the aesthetic I want to pursuit.
I want to be involved in different projects, not really interested about nudity for nudity but to bring something else 'to the table'!

I want to be involved with images that make people look two, three, four times before they get the all picture, like this one I made with Alexandre Cabrita, and tied by Carlos from Knotlounge.


Every time I showed this picture to people, the first reaction was always "What is this?"
And this reaction is what I want to get from people. And I want to feel proud of myself to make people think and question photography.

I respect whom want to work through soft porn or erotic images but to be honest I think that's the easy way to work via nudity. Everyone can shoot frontal nude with anyone, with any camera, any light...
I want to be different! Work differently.
I'm not afraid to be naked in front of a camera with a stranger, and I'm perfectly aware not every one is willing to be naked like that. But I really want to use my 'not afraid of being naked' to make different images, images that make people look and investigate.

Plus I don't really think I have to show my face to make the pictures work. In fact I prefer not to show my face...

By the way, what do you think of this picture?

"Nudity is a subject, not a pretext to something else", I saw this on IG of @gurnicki, apparently its from @monikasobien.
This title is everything!

Artistic nude photography is a subject, not a pretext that you can contact the model because you can see she/he was naked on that picture or disrespect the photographer, or the photographer can disrespect the model just because she/he is naked in front of you or willing to do it...

Even today I read an interview of Sara Sampaio to a portuguese magazine where she tell about the 10 worst experience on her professional life. Curious some are about nudity, photographers that didn't respect her... Funny how in my very, very short amateur model life I cross my path with disrespectful people (including photographers).

I published on my IG some of photography where I'm visibly naked. No nipples, genital or what so ever can be seen. The fact that I'm not afraid to 'show off' my naked body doesn't make me a whore or slut or implies that some random guy can send me pics or text me "I want to get you know you better". Those guys are blocked from my IG account and until today I only replied and I was 'nice' to one contact like that.

Nowadays I only want to work with @alexandrecabrita because he's just amazing in every way. He respects me as a person, he respects my total inexperience of modelling, he's patient beside the fact he's a total creative genius.
I got several contacts from other photographers wanting to make dirty stuff almost porno... Not who I'm, the path I want to take as a model or creative person, how I want to use my body to express feelings.

But over this past months, I realized almost every one see nudity as a pretext, not a subject.
I want to do more artistic nude photography but the world lacks of good people, lacks of photographers that want to explore nudity in a different way that most people do. The world lacks of values!
If you are a photographer and you don't understand what I'm saying, go to WASE Mag website, see how around the world others see nudity as a subject, as a line to communicate feelings. Not a pretext to sex or sexualize the body (male or female).
If you are a random guy that see my pics and think you can try to contact me to have sex... Use your hand! Like Rick de Sousa said once "They just want to empty their balls". Totally!

If you think I'm a slut because I do this type of photography, I'm not. I'm more, so much more than you see here on my IG, and I only show what I want people to know about me...

Here it goes 10 things (most) people don't know about me:
1 - I've an inexplicable need to learn new things in all imaginable areas.
2 - I've an inability to express my true feelings and normally I build walls around me when I like someone, even push them away... (trying to change that but its so damn hard!)
3 - I've a dark, a deep secret wish to became famous (its my alter ego showing off).
4 - I bite my nails, especially when I'm driving, can't explain why.
5 - I over feel things (situations, lies, people, everything...).
6 - Still want to be a mermaid and my main reason for not believing in God is because he never turned me into a mermaid.
7 - I was left-hand as a child however nowadays I use most times my right hand, still can write and draw with my left hand.
8 - I dream to be fully tattooed one day, since I was a very little child.
9 - I'm dyslexic and I do stammer.
10 - I want to find the love of my life one day, the one and only that loves me for who I'm and I can be myself all the time and respects me even when I'm furious and want to destroy everything around me.
After all this said and done, you as a photographer want to collaborate with me, just contact me!

And enjoy the rest of your day!

Recently I've had bad experiences about Body Piercing.
I know many professional Body Piercers make mistakes and probably I would make my own over the future years, however because of my personality I can not put myself aside of the fact I'm causing pain to people.
In several occasions, I had clients that started hyper ventilate even before I touch them, others started to kick me or hit my arm, the one I was using the niddle! Awful...
I just can't not feel the stress or pain of others.

Beside that, some - luckly few - clients after they perform the piercing, confessed me they didn't took proper care of the piercing and had healthy issues because of the lack of treatment.
I'm not the kind of person to let go of feeling responsible for the person, even I'm not guilty in the process.
It's not who I'm!

This situations made me extremely nervous, so nervous I didn't slept for days. I like to help people, never wanted to cause pain to anyone but now I feel my actions may lead disconfort or pain to others.
Honestly I don't understand why someone decided to make a piercing and after that don't take care of it and actively decided to take healthy risks.

I don't understand why after I recommend to remove the piercing, that person decide to keep it even its infected...
It's behind my comprehension! And revolt me.
I can't live in peace with this thoutgh on my mind. No money in the world pays, my peace of mind.
I always feel responsible, no matter what. It's who I am, part of my essence.
So I've decided to stop to perform piercings.
My peace of mind on top of everything, always.
This decision makes me sad however its the most correct for me at this moment.

While I was on holiday I manage to egt some planned stuff done! Of one those were a couple of Octopus mouth clay pieces that I planned to make!
One of the tentacles broke but I think I fix it!

Lets see if the proceess until the end will be ok...

Broke my heart to see one of this piece broken but I think I managed to repaired it! Will have to take them to the kiln and hope everything until its finished will be a success! . #womeninceramic #ceramic #clay #sculpt #sculpture #octopus #octopussculpture #ceramista #ceramist #sesimbra #portugal #portuguese #womeninceramics #handcrafts

Uma publicação compartilhada por Ana Peres (@anaraquelperes) em 1 de Set, 2018 às 10:45 PDT

And enjoy the rest of your day!

I know a blog should have nice post and so on... But this one will not be one of those posts!
Generally when I pick up a pen/pencil to draw/paint I've an idea of what I want to do although the idea may not be completely clear in my head.
But the second I start, the initial idea change.
My creative process 'explode' and I feel a bit hipnosys and I started to draw/paint my feelings!
Usualy I had no idea I had that feeling until that moment. Its like I'm painting my subconscience.
That happened with this painting... I started with a very different idea!
I very aware I'm not a very talent painter but what I was aiming for was nothing like this...
Everytime I stoped and analised the painting I simply hated it and took me some time to figured out why... Its too much Frida Khalo!
I painted my emotions and desires! Too raw and visceral, to much blood, too frontal and everytime I look at it I kepp thinking that I can't concive and that affects me...
Funny thing I also can't finnish the female figure I sculpted in clay
Of course every single time this hypnosis process that places and I end up with a different thing I intented to, I feel like I fail!
Still unable to like this painting and will not touch it more... Had the urge to paint it over with white ink and start over...
And the universe sent me the days afterwards, several Frida Khalo references even saw instagram ads about babies and pregnancies...
Crazy coindicences!!

And enjoy the rest of your day!

I love modelling and I always enjoy myself so much, that I really should return to be a model in a more serious way 👧
Although I love fashion modelling (because its great to wear fancy clothes and fancy make-up, done by professionals), I prefer conceptual photography because I rather use my body to express emotions, feelings and create certain feelings on others.

Conceptual photography its far more raw and even use different textures/lights that editorial photography normally doesn't use. Doesn't have to be pretty or perfect and that's one thing I like - Imperfection!

I always think I should be perfect all the time and I'm a very critical person about myself but I allow myself not to be perfect and through photography I show my imperfections, my insecurities and more important, I allow others to see them! Which is a huge step out of my comfort zone!












Model - Ana Peres
Photography/Editing - Ana Peres (me)

Please don't use this images with permission.

A couple days ago I met a very nice lady! We were talking about life, what I do with my life, etc...
I told her I felt different that most of people, including my own best friends! That I've this strange idea which I - eventually - paint or sculpt that strange idea. I mostly wear black because I'm a designer and I have to work with colours every single day and the fact I don't have to look to myself and put my brain to work to get dressed every day, it's so calming!
But the fact I wear, most of time, black and have piercings or tattoos doesn't mean I'm gothic, punk, hardcore girl... No, in fact, I don't think I fit in on any category. And the most funny thing about this is, I don't like to see many people with piercings and/or tattoos.
After a while talking, she told me: "You've graduated and you've worked on night shift to pay your studies. You travel alone. You tattoo for yourself, not to show off. You volunteer. You have a career and enjoy your work. That's so rare."


I have always been so judgmental about myself, because all my life I've been judged by my parents, teachers, basically everyone.
And of course, I started to be a super critical about myself. I want to be perfect, the best of all, always!
That can be good, because makes you sharper, more alert, ambitious but also makes you feel super bad whenever something goes wrong or simply not the way you wanted to be.
I don't tolerate mistakes!

After this conversation I noticed the way people treat me, they normally call me 'Peres' and she spent the all time calling me 'Dra. Ana' and she is also a doctor, with a major degree.
At the end of our conversation she told me I've to realize I'm on a higher level than most of the people! And this hit me like a rock!

This lady made me think about who I'm, what I accomplished throughout my life. And I've realised I need to be more friendly to myself. I've to treat myself better.

So today I treated myself a little bit better!
I deserved a bubble bath, with an excellent red wine to relax.
I like my body, my tattoos, my piercings and I'm proud of myself and found myself so sexy with all of this!

Since a couple of years, around new years eve, I make a list of wishes for the new year...
This year I decided not to do that! Why?
Seems like I make a list of things I must do it, no matter what and if I don't manage to do it, I get this feeling of failure. Which makes this all thing of wishes negative, when was supposed to be positive and not to make me think I'm breaking promises.

I'm not the type of person to say something and not to make it. Everything I decided to do, I do it even if it takes a while... But the pressure is less and I do it whenever I've time, money... whenever I can...
So this year, I will not make a list of 2018 wishes.
However I've a list of stuff I want to do soon, yes I do, but basically I need money.

Nevertheless, I'm anxious for 2018!
The last couple of weeks, were a bit awful... I lost my grandfather, lost my cat and held her in my arms while she died, had serious arguments with people I should argued in the beginning - including coworkers - lots piercings and worked too much.
The last semester was - at least - strange... Had a 'not sure if serious' kind of marriage proposal (not joking), had an extra-marriage - affair - proposal (no, still not joking), cut relationship and stepped away from people who hurt me, tried to do more of what made me happy, like going to concerts and tattoo more. I actually tried to be more open and friendly and be around the ones I enjoy the company and in some cases I should not have done that, I now realized that.

So, I'm anxious for 2018.
Really hope that 2018 be better than 2017, may I be more patience, less stressful, may I travel more and make more tattoos, more good food, more friends, more everything of what is good!
Beside, I already know I will be travelling in January and get the chance to be with my friend Débora in Zurich.
So bring it on 2018.
I wish you all good year and happy new year eve!

So you don't like tattoos?? Its ok... Just don't look, don't call, don't message me...
Feel free to ignore me, because this tattoos will not disappear and the number will eventually grow.






Photos by John Sexton.
And enjoy the rest of your day!

So is supposed I stand still and let the univers work for itself!
Nobody imagine how hard this is for me, the suffering this causes me! The pain just to think I need to stand still and do nothing...

Those who know me, knows I like to do! Make it happen! Act!

I'm not that person to be quiet and do nothing and let things happen for itself. Hate it... hate!
I'm in a rush to see this univers work. I've no patient to wait... I want things to happen and I those who seek because the world is full of weak and lazy people and I will not be one more.

But is supposed for me to stand still...
And if I don't want to?

Photo by Ian Espinosa on Unsplash

And enjoy the rest of your day!

I discovered a new passion...
More than paint or draw I discovered I love to sculpt...
Funny how for so many years I thought it might be fun to work with clay and ceramic. Until august of this year I sign up for a workshop and in the beginning to September I attended to that workshop.
I loved the experience and my ambition has being growing ever since!
This piece that I show you, was the fifth I made. The first 3 ones, were really simple, made plates and similar. Only to try to understand how the clay behave and how I could make what I had in mind.
Than I took a huge step and made a small bust and yesterday I made something I had in mind for over a week...

I admit its not perfect, made a lots of mistakes during the process and have some flaws. Each tentacle were made in a different way, so I could understand the better way to work around my idea.
However I feel satisfied with the results and I want to make more. My ambition is growing and already have several ideas in my head, some very elaborated. Jesus...

I feel a bit unsure to start making those ideas and feel disappointed if doesn't came out the way I think about them. But I'm loving the experience and I want to continue.
I even want to explore more techniques in this area. So if you know about workshop, classes, etc., in this area, let me know 😊








And enjoy the rest of your day!

This! Is exactly this what I feel about getting older... The mental process is better, less insecurities, less indecisions, more 'I do not care', more 'fuck it I will do it', more and less everything!
One the other hand, looking at the mirror and not feeling the age you supposedly have, don't understanding why now I have some marks on my face or why this number correspond to my age because I don't feel it...

By the way visit ZARA website (https://www.zara.com/pt/pt/mulher/timeless-c797510.html) and check 'Timeless'. I love the fact they hired non-formatted models, older, and 'funny' teeth's models, etc. Love the fact ZARA have this video on their website. Zara is promoting itself to a wide population of women who doesn't feel equal to standards models.

And enjoy the rest of your day!

Today I wake up and felt younger than I really am.
In fact, I fell younger for several years. I feel like I'm 28 years old... But I'm 38 and is such a strange feeling to have more years than you think and feel and see in the mirror.
No one say I am almost 40 and I am a bit scared of that number.


Today I decided to wear a bit of lipstick. Its been so long since I did it :)

And enjoy the rest of your day!

First of all I warn you all this post is very personal and negative... Whom doesn't want to read such type of post, feel free to leave. I didn't write it seeking compassion or sympathy, I just did it has a part of my personal process I'm going through at this point. I'm putting my cards on the table and showing my heart to the world.

"...it was a dream to have children, particularly a daughter. But some dreams never come true. In order to keep moving, you have to gently send them off into space and move onto new dreams."

I read this and immediately started to cry. I confess I feel like a liar because I always told everyone I didn't want kids but a year ago my body changed and my biological clock is ticking wild!
This was written by a disable artist (see more here: https://www.boredpanda.com/illustrations-orphan-disease-hibm-kam-redlawsk/) and the drawing is part of a series of her illustration about her dreams. I related so much to her because of my stutter and the fact I don't feel a normal person because of that.
I don't consider myself as disable no, but I always saw myself differently in a negative way... I admit I have periods which I hate myself, I don't accept myself as a person, as a woman...
This new feeling of want to be mother, reveled terrifying! The best description of it is: I feel like I've an ax on my chest, constantly. I even can see it when I see myself in the mirror. Just feel it!
In the beginning I managed to deal with it and worked harder and got involved in so many projects, that I didn't have the time to think about it. Over time, became unbearable... Even pictures of couples, pregnant ladies or babies are unbearable and I just want to scream and cry...
I know that I push people away, I can't make one relationship to work out and I may not have children on my own.
In the end of August I decided it was time to seek professional help and I started psychotherapy. The first session was horrible! I think I never cried so much in my life and even had admitted so much stuff to someone. Although it was good, obviously I felt vulnerable by the fact one person knows so much about me.
But was also liberator and I managed to clean some ideas in my head and decided to take action. I don't like to procrastinate and I always like to be the one who take action, to make it happen. So I started to unfollow people and artists on instagram, removed some friends on facebook and contacted one of my favorite tattoo artist to schedule a new tattoo.
To tell the truth I feel like I lied to myself over 38 years about children! Now I know I simply rationalized the all question and took the decision with the facts and knowledge I had back then. But now I look back and see all the opportunities I missed, everything I've done that now I would like to change and I can't. And I feel awful, stupid and horrible! The urge to cry is constant over this idea...
I want to forgive myself for all the bad and good decisions I took in my all life and be able to move on.
I want to be able to accept myself, my flaws, features and crazy manias I know I have. But you know its harder then you think... Specially when you heard your all life, that you are strange, you are this and that, and over time you start to think maybe the idea the world have of you must be right? How came everyone can be wrong? Maybe I'm the one wrong...
Deep down I wish I could go back in time, to the time I was happy and careless. But that is not possible and nowadays I have a huge consciousness about my body, my person and my presence in the world, like I never had before...

Whom may stick to this post and got here, may be thinking "Why don't she adopt?"
I thought about that, I just don't know if I have the mental, physical and monetary strength to educate a child on my own. And I would like to have the opportunity to raise a child with another person. Maybe one day, but for now that is not an option.

For those who follow my blog over this years, this space always was very cheerful and positive. I shared music, art, inspiration and creativity, but over time grow up with me and its a part of my life and I share here so much mor than I thought I would do it.
I never shared such a personal post, a couple of weeks I wrote my first honest and personal post and after a while I erase it because I felt vulnerable and I like to think I'm made of steel that nothing beats me down... silly me! Nobody is perfect, nobody is always happy. Everybody has low and high moments in life. But I never shared my negative thoughts here. And now I want to be different and show people that is ok to feel bad. Its normal and social networks tende to make people think everyone is happy and its not true.
I want to show people there is nothing to fear about unhappiness, being vulnerable and admit that we all make mistakes.

For those who read this giant post, thank you for stick around and I don't need comments! Didn't wrote it seeking support.
But fear not, will not be many post like this. Is tremendously rare I feel like this and I get up really quick!
I know this post feels super negative but its how I feel now and talking about it like this will make me some good.

Who didn't like it, can unfollow me, my blog, my facebook and instagram.

Funny how I'm always right... Feels like I was hit by a truck!


This will not be a good day...

I'm not very tattooed or pierced (nowadays) but I know its complicated and boring to hear certain comments!
People are just don't comprehend things outside from their concept of normality, and everything out from that concept motivates comments, confrontation, etc.
Generally I hear comments like "This hurt?", "Why do you do that?", "At work, people don't tell you nothing?", "Have you think how you will look like with 60 years old?" or recently "How do you kiss with that piercing on your lip?"

My concept of normality is different, I know.
What I do with my body, is my own! I do it, because I like it, I enjoy myself this way. Love to see myself in the mirror with tattoos and piercings and make me happy. I wouldn't be happy in another.
Please stop judging others!

But the fact I have piercings and tattoos, doesn't mean I'm a slut, that I drug myself or rob or mislead others.
On the contrary!
I consider myself a good person, a good friend, help other whenever I can and I - truly - love to work... I even volunteer!

If you are curious about some issues, just ask normally never with a tone or funny faces... Come on, grow up!




By the way, body modification is an ancient thing. Its not a modern art.
In fact, since pre-history body modification exists, and some tribes tattooed as a curative method.

And enjoy the rest of your day!

Everything is better with 2 drummers! Yes this music is pure genius... Listening for 2 days in a row and can't get enough.

...a very complicated day for me!
Since I remember I hate my birthday, hate have all attentions on me, hate the fact I have to talk with people and kiss people I don't even want to touch...
I remember as a child not want parties, I didn't want to grow up and is a day full of mix emotions.
Later, this day had several events that mark me for life, so much that influenced my love life for ever...
All on my birthday...

But I know I have a group of friends that are fantastic! Little in number but amazing.
They sent me videos by whatsapp, they sent me pictures of themselves with cut dog/fox filters, I also have an amazing mamacita (my mum from work) that gives me strange but beautiful gifts!

Nevertheless, year after year this negative feeling gets worst.
So this year I planned something special!
I will be tattooing in the end of the day, and sadly will be a very small tattoo.
The time this post will be online, I will be in the studio with my dear friend Gemeniano Cruz empowering my day!

A receber os parabéns do meu amor

A post shared by Ana Peres (@anaraquelperes) on Jul 9, 2017 at 11:09pm PDT